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Jan Peppler's avatar

Honestly, if I hadn’t been so fortunate to spend 4 months in Italy, 11 weeks in total lockdown in Balestrate, I’m not sure it would have gotten under my skin like it has. I would have missed SO much! Those weeks everything was a miraculous microscope. Every door I walked past, every person I spoke to, every interaction was a gift - and a lesson! I hope to spend the rest of my life learning 💛 and btw, Diane Lane never leaving has always frustrated me. Well that and only saving one box of books. Seriously? One box? And she’s a writer? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thanks for another great post- equal parts reality and encouragement!

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Jack Cluth's avatar

I've been fortunate to live overseas on two occasions, and you're right. Living in a country is fundamentally different than being a tourist in that same country. That's not a bad thing if approached properly. One, you need to accept that you will never be one of the "locals." No matter how long you live there, how excellently you speak the language or understand the culture, you will always be a foreigner. Accept that, and you'll be much happier.

Two, living in a foreign country means that you're leaving America behind. That means no American expectations about how things should work...if they work at all. If you don't leave your expectations at home, you'll be perpetually frustrated. Adapt to the way things are, NOT to how you think they should be...because they will never be that way.

Three, you can be happy anywhere you put your mind to it, and beauty is everywhere. When I lived in Kosovo, it was still (by American standards) kind of a shithole. And I loved it. I didn't expect it to be Portland, OR. It was dirty, noisy, confusing, occasionally dangerous- and I made it my home. It never disappointed me because I only ever expected it to be exactly what it was.

Four, you don't just decide to live in a foreign country. There are actual rules and conditions that must be met in some cases. Italy is one of those cases. Know the rules before you show up at the border with your little kit bag in hand. That preparation might just save you a lot of heartache and embarrassment.

Being a good expatriate isn't easy...but it is possible, as long as you're not a dumbass about it.🤣

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