Reading your thoughtful words every two weeks will still be a wonderful treat for me. In fact, your essays are the only reading that I have been able to do in the last 3 years. I have never had COVID but it truly has changed my life. I am in a constant state of brain fog due to immense personal grief and trauma. I think it is survival mode. I used to call it PTSD. I know that I need a major "shake up" of my memory, mental focus, and physical energy. Planning for a new life in Spain is helping me heal.
Tremendous, Cheryl. And I FEEL you. Rooting for your success on your journey back to flow. I'll look forward your next installment here in two weeks - or whenever the hell you get to it. Don't interrupt yourself on our account... <3
Ah yes multitasking- that thing which employers say is important and good. Too much of our life has been dictated by work, and now, by social media.
I so enjoyed turning off my phone and modem for 40 hours over Christmas that I plan to do it again this month and every month that I’m in town on the 29th or 30th. Apparently it’s good for my computer. And if it’s good for my electronics then it’s definitely good for me.
Seriously, though I commiserate with you over the loss of focus, failing memory, and challenges of reading. I hadn’t thought about it much in terms of the pandemic, probably because they so enjoyed having time alone. But your thoughts around being immersed in water really struck home for me. The body needs touch and connection.
Two years and a couple of months ago I was in the midst of writing a play. But, with the decision to move to Italy made, it was time to start packing. My wife and I have only just settled. That play awaits, the vision and intention of it still intact and a new novel to be set in the valley we now live in is erupting into consciousness. But I am two years older and have suffered two bouts of covid and the needs of other family members occupy my time. Too often I excuse myself from my writing desk even before I have sat down. The discipline I had at my disposal short years ago keeps teasing me through a window of time. I do not know whether I can bring it inside where we can abide together and join forces once again. But the thing is, I also do not know that I can't. The answer will not be known until I rouse myself to a valiant effort one last time. I think it may be a matter of courage.
I enjoy your writing so much that my first thought was “Oh, no! Not weekly?” But I do understand. Everything about this essay spoke to me. Especially the hugging. I too have two sons. When I was finally able to hug them I broke down in an uncontrollable sob. When we returned to Italy after a two year long absence half my husband’s family was at the airport. Covid be damned. We hugged and hugged and cried. I like to shake hands when meeting strangers. I like to air-kiss lightly brushing your cheeks with mine. I will reach out and touch your hand or shoulder while deep in conversation. I will pat kids on their sweet heads, and touch baby feet in prams while on walks. I will look you in the eyes when talking. When that connection by touch was lost, forbidden, it nearly drove me mad. Thank you Cheryl.
This article resonated with me as well. First, I wonder if you actually DID have Covid at some point, but were asymptomatic? If it was quite a while ago, it wouldn't show up on an antibodies test now, but would certainly explain the brain fog. However, I agree that the isolation and other things that changed in our lives during the lockdown definitely affected our ability to focus. For me, banning the doomscrolling on my phone was key to building stronger mental health. I also subscribe to the Good News Network, and they send me an email each morning filled with nothing but uplifting and heartwarming news articles.
Getting out in nature daily and inviting friends to join me for socially distanced walks helps me to have a sense of well-being I never have if I'm stuck in the house. And I think doing meditation is a great idea! I do a guided visualization tape each night as I go to bed which helps me sleep more deeply. Please keep me posted and let me know if the meditation helps you.
If I were a gifted writer, I could’ve have penned this myself. Your observations deeply resonated with me and have given me much food for thought. Thank you and best of luck in your endeavors!
Good one Cheryl. We have managed to avoid the Covie too somehow, thankfully. We have been duly vaccinated and boostered up thanks to the Portuguese govt., which helps. It may be slow but they get ´er done!
Yup, Covid has ruined me for attending anything consisting of large groups of people. Which I think is a good thing. As much as it sucked I think that a lot of the social fallout has been positive. It gave us time to think. I am much more conscious of my carbon footprint, so to speak.
I have not been on a plane in 4 years. Do not have much desire to do so again anytime soon.
As far as the brain fog goes, I chalk it up to age. I wish it wasn´t so but I suspect that it is.
Am listening to the series How to Change Your Mind. Maybe it is all in our heads, and we are part of a construct after all. ;)
That being said, cosmically we are almost finally out of the planetary retrograde woods come February. That should help a lot with clarity of mind in general.
Oh man, is that why I can't concentrate on one thing for more than a few minutes? Or have this constant desire to be alone or isolated with my wife, not really doing anything? Sometimes going out, even to do what I like, seems like an impossible intrusion on my doing everything while doing nothing (i.e., sitting in an easy chair channel surfing, YouTube browsing, and constantly checking for texts and comments). Life's too hectic and at the same time, not involving enough. And I went from a sort of writer's inaction in NY to having too much in my brain in Umbria. Should I take up drinking again? Just kidding. Thanks for writing this and pinpointing the problem. I'm going to start staring at trees for a few minutes at a time and take it from there. We'll see how far that goes.
Thank you for writing this article. I was raised in rather poor family where the gold standard for well being was my father saying, "You got a bed to sleep in, roof over your head and food to eat, then no complaints" As a result, I often have a hard time getting touch in with my feelings. You hit the nail on the head. I'm glad I'm not the only. Thanks again
I'm right there with you, Cheryl! Not writing a novel but trying so hard to get my ducks in a row...preparing paperwork to obtain visas, sorting through all our Christmas stuff and advertising it, knowing I'll have to do the same with all the furniture and household items we own before our move to Italy in July! Exciting, yes, but soooo overwhelming also.
Reading your thoughtful words every two weeks will still be a wonderful treat for me. In fact, your essays are the only reading that I have been able to do in the last 3 years. I have never had COVID but it truly has changed my life. I am in a constant state of brain fog due to immense personal grief and trauma. I think it is survival mode. I used to call it PTSD. I know that I need a major "shake up" of my memory, mental focus, and physical energy. Planning for a new life in Spain is helping me heal.
Tremendous, Cheryl. And I FEEL you. Rooting for your success on your journey back to flow. I'll look forward your next installment here in two weeks - or whenever the hell you get to it. Don't interrupt yourself on our account... <3
Ellen
Ah yes multitasking- that thing which employers say is important and good. Too much of our life has been dictated by work, and now, by social media.
I so enjoyed turning off my phone and modem for 40 hours over Christmas that I plan to do it again this month and every month that I’m in town on the 29th or 30th. Apparently it’s good for my computer. And if it’s good for my electronics then it’s definitely good for me.
Seriously, though I commiserate with you over the loss of focus, failing memory, and challenges of reading. I hadn’t thought about it much in terms of the pandemic, probably because they so enjoyed having time alone. But your thoughts around being immersed in water really struck home for me. The body needs touch and connection.
Two years and a couple of months ago I was in the midst of writing a play. But, with the decision to move to Italy made, it was time to start packing. My wife and I have only just settled. That play awaits, the vision and intention of it still intact and a new novel to be set in the valley we now live in is erupting into consciousness. But I am two years older and have suffered two bouts of covid and the needs of other family members occupy my time. Too often I excuse myself from my writing desk even before I have sat down. The discipline I had at my disposal short years ago keeps teasing me through a window of time. I do not know whether I can bring it inside where we can abide together and join forces once again. But the thing is, I also do not know that I can't. The answer will not be known until I rouse myself to a valiant effort one last time. I think it may be a matter of courage.
I enjoy your writing so much that my first thought was “Oh, no! Not weekly?” But I do understand. Everything about this essay spoke to me. Especially the hugging. I too have two sons. When I was finally able to hug them I broke down in an uncontrollable sob. When we returned to Italy after a two year long absence half my husband’s family was at the airport. Covid be damned. We hugged and hugged and cried. I like to shake hands when meeting strangers. I like to air-kiss lightly brushing your cheeks with mine. I will reach out and touch your hand or shoulder while deep in conversation. I will pat kids on their sweet heads, and touch baby feet in prams while on walks. I will look you in the eyes when talking. When that connection by touch was lost, forbidden, it nearly drove me mad. Thank you Cheryl.
This article resonated with me as well. First, I wonder if you actually DID have Covid at some point, but were asymptomatic? If it was quite a while ago, it wouldn't show up on an antibodies test now, but would certainly explain the brain fog. However, I agree that the isolation and other things that changed in our lives during the lockdown definitely affected our ability to focus. For me, banning the doomscrolling on my phone was key to building stronger mental health. I also subscribe to the Good News Network, and they send me an email each morning filled with nothing but uplifting and heartwarming news articles.
Getting out in nature daily and inviting friends to join me for socially distanced walks helps me to have a sense of well-being I never have if I'm stuck in the house. And I think doing meditation is a great idea! I do a guided visualization tape each night as I go to bed which helps me sleep more deeply. Please keep me posted and let me know if the meditation helps you.
If I were a gifted writer, I could’ve have penned this myself. Your observations deeply resonated with me and have given me much food for thought. Thank you and best of luck in your endeavors!
Excellent. You're half in the flow already by writing about missing it.
De nada! ;) Good show! Vaccines work.
And I think that most of the time we create our own worst limitations.
Good one Cheryl. We have managed to avoid the Covie too somehow, thankfully. We have been duly vaccinated and boostered up thanks to the Portuguese govt., which helps. It may be slow but they get ´er done!
Yup, Covid has ruined me for attending anything consisting of large groups of people. Which I think is a good thing. As much as it sucked I think that a lot of the social fallout has been positive. It gave us time to think. I am much more conscious of my carbon footprint, so to speak.
I have not been on a plane in 4 years. Do not have much desire to do so again anytime soon.
As far as the brain fog goes, I chalk it up to age. I wish it wasn´t so but I suspect that it is.
Am listening to the series How to Change Your Mind. Maybe it is all in our heads, and we are part of a construct after all. ;)
That being said, cosmically we are almost finally out of the planetary retrograde woods come February. That should help a lot with clarity of mind in general.
Boa sorte! best to ye.
Oh man, is that why I can't concentrate on one thing for more than a few minutes? Or have this constant desire to be alone or isolated with my wife, not really doing anything? Sometimes going out, even to do what I like, seems like an impossible intrusion on my doing everything while doing nothing (i.e., sitting in an easy chair channel surfing, YouTube browsing, and constantly checking for texts and comments). Life's too hectic and at the same time, not involving enough. And I went from a sort of writer's inaction in NY to having too much in my brain in Umbria. Should I take up drinking again? Just kidding. Thanks for writing this and pinpointing the problem. I'm going to start staring at trees for a few minutes at a time and take it from there. We'll see how far that goes.
Thank you for writing this article. I was raised in rather poor family where the gold standard for well being was my father saying, "You got a bed to sleep in, roof over your head and food to eat, then no complaints" As a result, I often have a hard time getting touch in with my feelings. You hit the nail on the head. I'm glad I'm not the only. Thanks again
I'm right there with you, Cheryl! Not writing a novel but trying so hard to get my ducks in a row...preparing paperwork to obtain visas, sorting through all our Christmas stuff and advertising it, knowing I'll have to do the same with all the furniture and household items we own before our move to Italy in July! Exciting, yes, but soooo overwhelming also.
Sounds great, Cheryl. The meditation, the reading! I’m sure they’ll get you where you want to go.