14 Comments
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Cristina's avatar

This post is very timely! We recently hosted a young Italian woman in our home town in the US (we are Italian part-timers). It was an unannounced “Hey can I crash with you” visit. Sure, we thought, for a night or two. Nope! She stayed a week!!!!! She was traveling solo around a part of this huge country that has nothing of particular interest for tourist to see. We tried our hardest to entertain her without any input except when we got it wrong. We suggested 3 small museums —she’s not interested in art, she said. We suggested historical sights —nope. At her insistence we took her to our small downtown area that has no bars (the Italian kind) but is filled with homeless. Boring. And on her last day, on the way to airport we stopped in at the Botanical Gardens because she claimed to like nature, but that too left her cold. Never a thank you. Never again!

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Cheryl A. Ossola's avatar

Oh, wow, that is really awful! Your experience is far worse than mine, but it reminds me of some friends whose teenage nephew stayed with them and hated everything and made no effort to hide that fact. Nothing like a sullen, whiney teenager who compares everything to the U.S. to make hosting a nightmare!

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A Good Name For A Band's avatar

Oh my goodness! This post is hilarious and a nightmare all at the same time! I don’t always read your posts (I’m a casual observer at this point) but If any of these things happened to me I’d be pissed! People can be so clueless! Planning (or helping to plan) a holiday travel experience is A LOT OF WORK! Why people are so rude to those they asked for help is beyond me. You’re a kind person to even intimate that you’d help people with their travel plans. Have a joyous holiday season and I hope only nice people are in your orbit for a good long while. 😀

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Cheryl A. Ossola's avatar

Thank you, Gillian. All I do is toss out some ideas and that's it, unless I'm actually traveling with friends, in which case I'm happy to plan our trip if it's to places I know. When friends visited me here and wanted to go to Florence and Rome together, it made total sense for me to arrange things. Joyous holiday season back at ya!

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Elfin Waters's avatar

I'm amazed! I think people just don't stop to think about the work that goes into writing such helpful emails and don't appreciate the value you're offering. I get this a bit in my own business but at least, it's part of my work. As a hole, humanity doesn't value other people's time.

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Cheryl A. Ossola's avatar

I'm sure people think it's no big deal, and it wouldn't be if it was "one size fits all" info. But you're right—they don't think about the time involved. Sorry to hear it happens to you too!

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Laura Itzkowitz's avatar

These kinds of requests are so annoying, aren't they?! I definitely give out my fair share of free advice, but this is exactly why I've started putting some of my Substack newsletters behind paywalls. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think that when people have to pay for something, they value it more.

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Cheryl A. Ossola's avatar

Some people certainly do base value on price. I don't get massive amounts of requests, and I'm happy to help friends and acquaintances, but like I said, they've got to give me something to go on. And just because I live here doesn't make me an expert on all areas!

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Tim's avatar

Thank you, thank you, thank you 😀🍷🙏

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Jan Peppler's avatar

#s 4&5- spot on! I’ve already had these happen to me as well. Especially 5. Honestly, wtf?? Not an elegant response, but truthful. I always appreciate your directness, Cheryl. Thank you!

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Cheryl A. Ossola's avatar

Thanks, Jan, but I sure wish you hadn't been on the receiving end, especially of 4 and 5. Sheesh. Wtf indeed!

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Jan Peppler's avatar

😂all good. I’ve learned and can laugh about it now!

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Vian's avatar

As always, I enjoyed reading your blog. One thing though: the format of the text is very wide - wider than the width of a laptop browser. I have to reduce the screen size to 90% which means the size of the type is reduced to the point of causing eye strain - at least for me. Any chance you can add margins to the size of the text field so that the wonderful material you write fits comfortably within a browser screen?

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Cheryl A. Ossola's avatar

I'm sorry you're having that experience. Substack gives us no such formatting options, and I've never seen that happen myself (in previewing my own posts or when reading other Substacks) nor had anyone else mention the problem. So it might be something to do with your browser. Wish I could help!

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