The America Effect

How foreigners’ habits are changing Italy—and not for the better

Lunch at a fraschetta in Bracciano. Photo by Cheryl A. Ossola

Cari amici,

The longer I live in Italy, the more I see the effects of both tourism and what seems like a huge uptick in the number of expats here. The expat/Italophile online groups are packed with questions about life in Italy and how things are done here, and you’d think that means people are eager to fit in. But that’s not necessarily true, apparently, because some travelers or expats seem determined to bring their country’s customs with them.

I say “expats” here because I (and dictionaries) differentiate between them and immigrants in a key way: expats live in a foreign country either part-time or temporarily, whereas immigrants live there full-time and, as far as one can foresee the future, forever. In my experience, it’s the expats who tend to cling more tightly to their home country’s norms. And when I say “customs,” I’m talking about money and how it’s spent. Let’s look at two examples: tipping and hourly wages.

Hardly a day goes by in expat groups, particularly American ones, that someone doesn’t say, “How much do I tip [a waiter, hairdresser, worker, etc.] in Italy?” And the question I always ask myself in reply is “Why are you asking?”

Anyone who has ever read a guidebook on Italy or visited any of a trillion travel sites has no doubt read that tipping isn’t a thing in Italy. That’s because, unlike waiters and other service workers in the U.S., people here don’t earn most of their money from tips. They may be paid what Americans think is less than a decent wage, but that wage isn’t as low as one based on anticipated tip income—and the fact is, wages are lower here because the cost of living is lower.

I find it odd that these Americans don’t say, “Wow, in Italy the price I see is what I pay? The sales tax is included in the price and there’s no need to tip? How refreshing!” Instead they seem determined to pay more than necessary. Which leads me to another question: “Why do some people insist on imposing their customs and values on a country that’s doing just fine without them?”

Some people will insist there’s no harm in tipping; it’s such a little thing, really. I get that they want to show their appreciation for good service or a meal that’s da morire, especially since the tourism and hospitality industries were so hard hit by the pandemic. But unless we’re talking about the common Italian practice of rounding up bar, restaurant, or taxi charges with some small change or a few euros, it isn’t a little thing. Because when foreigners tip 15 or 20 percent of a bill, they’re eroding a cultural difference between their home country and Italy, which may in the long run make daily life more expensive for those of us who live here.

Why pay more when it’s not necessary? Are big tippers so ingrained in their thinking that they can’t change their ways, or do they feel good—or worse, superior—when they hand out money to the “little guy”?

In scouring expat groups, I found some commenters who share my concern that tipping can change Italian norms. (I don’t mention names because I didn’t ask these people for permission to quote them.) One said, “I would hate to change the relationship service providers have with locals, preferring to serve visitors over locals because visitors tip and locals don’t. We tip small so the individual feels appreciated but not enough to negatively impact the habits of the locals.”

“I don’t tip,” said another group member. “No one expects it, and I’d rather fit in instead of clinging to a bad habit that alters the relationship between me and a provider.”

Another agreed: “Typically people don’t tip in Italy, and the waitressing jobs I saw advertised when I was job searching had an hourly rate. Teachers, seasonal workers, babysitters, etc. get paid an hourly rate as well, so to me there's no reason/justification for giving waiters tips.”

There are dissenting comments too, of course; tipping is a hot topic. But it’s important to consider how we’re defining it. Many people who said they always tip for good service didn’t say how much they give—and there’s a big difference between supporting the customary practice of rounding up and advocating tips totaling 15 to 20 percent of a bill. One Italian who spoke out strongly in favor of tipping usually gives small amounts but will go up to 10 percent at times.

The insistence on tipping all’americana (15 to 20 percent or more) is an example of what I call “cultural nearsightedness.” As a result, in parts of Italy (particularly the ones with heavy tourist traffic), tipping is becoming expected, or at least hoped for. Go into a bar and you’re likely to find a tip jar that wouldn’t have existed ten years ago. I’ve even heard of high-end restaurants in touristy areas tacking a 20 percent surcharge onto a group’s bill. Why? Because tourists have tipped and tipped and tipped their way through Italy, and now restaurant owners say why not increase profits? If these tourists keep it up, tipping will eventually become a widespread norm, pushing the price tag of a dream trip to Italy that much higher.

I understand that many if not most of the people who insist on leaving big tips are warmhearted and well-meaning and delighted and thus want to show their appreciation. Really, I do. But the best way to do that is with thanks, enthusiasm, and ESPECIALLY by giving the deserving establishment more business, either by returning for another meal or haircut or by sending others to that service provider via personal recommendations and online reviews.

Because the thing is—and this can be hard for some Americans to accept—money isn’t holy here the way it is in the U.S. There’s no workaholic culture, no bragging about job titles (implying high salaries) in everyday conversations. People do work hard, and plenty of them take pride in what they do. Wander into a tiny family-run osteria for dinner and there’s a good chance you won’t be allowed to leave until you’ve knocked back a slug of the family’s house-made limoncello or amaro or grappa, no charge. In some restaurants, a complimentary glass of prosecco arrives at your place setting soon after you do. If you say no to dessert but ask for coffee, you may well get coffee with a few chocolates or cookies on the side.

And as for the practice of rounding, it’s often a restaurant or other business owner who’s doing it—and they’re shifting the price down. This happens a lot, especially if you’re paying in cash. Take the bill for that lunch in the photo up top (which included a lot more than you can see)—the total came to €87, but that number had been crossed out and €82 scribbled in, because my friends, locals, eat there regularly and often bring visitors. We bought two jars of homemade lemon marmelata at €8 each, bringing the total to €98. We paid €100. It’s like a game—they came down €5 and we went up €2 and everyone was happy.

Mind you, plenty of workers in Italy will take your excess money gladly. They might even start to expect or demand it. As one expat group commenter who lives in northern Italy said, after a trip south, “The waiters in Naples and Sorrento told all English-speaking customers to leave tips.”

Of course, some tip recipients are truly appreciative, but others might smirk, once you’ve turned your back, at what they see as your cultural ignorance. Or they might be offended. One commenter said, “I don’t tip in Italy except for long transportation service, baggage assistance, exceptional service. For repairmen, I serve coffee ... they were insulted when I tried to give them money.” Another concurred: “I do not tip the hair stylist in Italy as it is not the custom and can be taken as an insult. The customs [in Italy] are very different. If you tip a waiter a large sum they may take it as an insult as well. I am dating an Italian man, and when we go out we do not tip the waiters. Because it is just not done in general in the south of Italy.” 

In this article, Alex Roe, who says he has lived in Italy for well over 15 years and has an Italian partner, explained why tipping can be seen as an insult: “Simply because the person serving you may well be the owner of the restaurant or his or her son or daughter. If this is the case, by leaving a tip you create the impression they are poor and that you think that they could do with the extra few euros.”  

In a society where tipping in large amounts isn’t the norm, those who insist on doing it are basically overpaying for services. And this habit can lead to another problem: higher prices.

A couple of years ago I hired a woman to clean my house twice a month. She works for two American friends of mine and her rate was €10 an hour, which seemed reasonable, especially during the pandemic. But recently she increased her rate to €15 per hour. Why this fifty percent increase? Because her other American employers had voluntarily given it to her, and now she wanted me to pay the same.

I won’t, for several reasons—one, it’s too much for me (my income hasn’t gone up since I hired her, and I’m facing the same increase in cost of living she is), and two, I object on principle. Sure, housecleaning is hard work. But €15 per hour seemed like a high wage in general for this part of Italy, and if she was working for Italians, she’d earn something like what my neighbors pay their housecleaner: €7 an hour.

To make sure my reasoning wasn’t faulty, I asked some Italian friends for their thoughts. They do pay their housecleaner €10/hour but pointed out that they’re in the province of Rome, where prices are generally higher than in Umbria. And they agreed that €15/hour is too much, that it’s more than many Italians earn. I verified that with some numbers from Bolla Accounting. (I found similar info on other sites.)

According to the firm, in Italy the current median salary (meaning half the population earns less than that amount and half earns more) is around €3,720 per month. That’s €23.25 per hour (based on a 40-hour workweek). However, the average hourly wage for workers protected by collective bargaining agreements (about half of Italy’s workers) “is around €7 an hour although it varies slightly across the different sectors. Across the whole of the private sector, the social security and pensions department (INPS) has admitted that 22 percent of workers earn less than a gross total of €9 per hour.”

So no, I don’t think €15 per hour for housecleaning is justified, not when 22 percent of salaried workers earn far less than that. Please—I’m not saying all Italians earn enough money; there’s poverty here, like anywhere. And I don’t blame my former housecleaner for taking advantage of an opportunity—she didn’t ask for that high rate; it was given to her; why shouldn’t she expect it from me as well? But we are not all wealthy, despite the stereotype—which is reinforced by Americans who over-tip or overpay.

If travelers and expats want to experience Italy as Italians do—which to me is the point of placing ourselves in new environments—they need to guard against cultural nearsightedness and leave their personal agendas and societal habits at home. Italy, a prized travel destination for centuries, has her own identity, her own rules. Let’s add another one—the hiking/camping rule of leaving a place exactly as we found it. Italy deserves nothing less.

Alla prossima,

Cheryl

© Cheryl A. Ossola 2023

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Book of the Week:

• Too Much Tuscan Sun: Confessions of a Chianti Tour Guide by Dario Castagno (I read this book, first pubbed in 2003, too long ago to know if I can still recommend it—but what I do remember about it is the outrageous behavior and/or ignorance of some of Castagno’s clients.)

Poem of the week:

• “Postcard from a Travel Snob” by Sophie Hannah